It was too late to take back news of ourbetrothal so plans for the wedding proceeded as normal. Maybe it wasbecause of my female hormones, but I was l...st in a fog of uncertaintyand confusion. I knew that I loved Jason, but not why. Maybe it was selflove since Jason was now genetically half me. If I had my Y chromosomesback I would be a different person. As a man, would I love the femaleversion of Jason. Would I want to marry her? Jason started getting upsetwith me because I was so ambivalent. ‘That may be a bit more of a problem,’ she started,’ we don’t really want to go back to Cardiff until the fifteenth and I was wondering if there was any chance of coming back to work at the garden centre for the next two weeks as we had originally intended.’ She smiled her best, sweet, little girl smile and then added, ‘We will understand if you say no, you must have taken other people on for the holidays!’ I thought for a minute. It could actually work out well….. Tim and two of the students. I put on nude coloured stockings and wore black four inch stiletto heels. Caz put on a pretty blue bra and knickers that she wore under a white blouse and short, tight blue skirt. She wore blue stockings and blue stilettos. We took our time with our make up. I was now quite good at doing my own, so we sat side by side in front of our vanity mirror in our bedroom. Together we made up our faces. I finished off with a dark red lipstick with dark, smoky eyes. Caz went for a sparkly blue on her eyes. It's true, for my entire life as a crossdresser I have never had any urge to become a woman, and have said so at length and with some vigor to anyone who would listen to me blather on, but that's all over. I once again girdled my loins and sat down to do combat with my mortal enemy the sewing machine. I have made innumerable items of feminine apparel when I could get the thing to cooperate with me, dresses, skirts, blouses were no real problem. Most of them even came out well enough I could.
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