In the one photograph I have of him he's holding me up againsthis chest like a bag of groceries with a huge smile on his face. Helooks gentle and kind... My stepdad entered the scene before my fourthbirthday, and all I can figure is that the dynamics of power in ourfamily must've changed radically soon after that; going from what Iimagine had been a reasonably democratic household to..... well what wehad now.The new head of our household was never shy about finding fault withme, and as the years. ...great Hollywood word... "fabulous".Oooooohhhh... I was just sixteen years old. the big room had mirrors everywhere, full length, of course. I was in heaven, tossing my head, looking at myself in this green beaded dress, with my red curls.Denise said," Remember, I told you Norma was kinky? Sylvia, I'm not giving away any secrets, am I, if I say that you like that a little, too? I do, Judy does, Devon and Barbara like that too, all of us do. You are so crazy, Sylvia, we love you so much. ( I. . she's admitting it, now, which is an improvement. And she's got someone to care for her." It's going to be a strain on them, on him." He'll rise to it. He needs something, at the moment. It might bring them closer together." And if it doesn't?" Can he be any more broken than he was on that cliff?" Probably not." It's not your fault, you know." I know." No, you say that, but you're not feeling it. You're wondering where you went wrong, what you could have done differently." A little." He. I was awoke by a clunk on my bedside cabinet, I stirred to look at my clock, it was 6.15am, I made a slight murmuring a little confused as to why I was awake at this time. Then I felt a hand over my mouth “ssshhhhh” a gentle voice said. “Its only me” I looked up and saw mom smiling at me as she slowly removed her hand from my mouth.“b..but its 6.15 I whispered” still bewildered at the early wake up call“Sorry darling, I know its early, but your dad will be up soon, so I thought I would bring.
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