He ran his fingers through my hair. “You’re not a whore,” he continued. “ I’m not paying you to stay here. You're free to leave anytime you ...ant and you have just as much ‘control’ as I do.” Somehow, that was the most humiliating thing. Knowing that I was freely giving myself to this man. It was that dirty desire to be used like a whore. These dark cravings. My dirty little secret. Then, he added, almost tenderly, “I respect your boundaries, J. We’ve talked plenty about this. You only have to. On the very next day, Sunita k behavior me thoda sa change aaya. Wo mere taraf thode ajeeb dhang se dekhne lagi. I thought ki use pata chal gya. Uske baad maine gaur kiya ki bathroom me hamesha ek se jada panty rehne lagi. Maine ek din thodi himmat kar Panty me fir se muth maari. Dusre din subha maa ne kaha “Rakesh tu itni der bathroom me kya karta hai”. I was like ki kya bolu. Tab maine kaha “Kuch nahi maa saaf safai ka thoda jada khayal rakhta hu”. Sunita ne ek si ajeeb smile dete hue kaha. ’ ‘Well, it may take you a while to sort that out. But the first step is to leave, and your father and I will support you in that in any way we can.’ ‘Thanks, Mom. You’re the best.’ ‘There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for my Angela,’ I assured her. Oh, it was so nice to be let into Angela’s confidence again. * * * * * * * * * So Angela moved out of the house she had lived in for seventeen years, and got an apartment. After the initial difficulties and grieving about being on her own again, she. Does that bother you?’ ‘No, I hope that I enjoy it as much as she did. Uh… Jimmy?’ ‘Yes, darling?’ ‘Will it hurt, this way, in the beginning?’ How much was she prepared to endure to please him? But, Catherine had done it. ‘Don’t be tense, just relax. I’ll be very slow, I promise.’ He had no desire to cause her any pain and yet his desire to share another way to love with her… ‘All right, go ahead, I’ll try my best for you.’ She tried her best to relax… relax, unsure how it would feel to be.
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