I noticed that his leg had straightened, and I hadn't heard him cast, so I knew that given enough time he could indeed work magic without speaking."Ty...alla, please untie me and return to the seat. I think you're ready for one more exsanguination, and then I'll have enough for the procedure."When I tried to glance back my eyes dropped again, and I knew that such things, my dropping eyes, my faltering voice, would only make him sure that he could win. It was sad, really, that I hadn't more. My brain floated on such a highthat everything just seemed dream-like and unreal.I knew that every day would not be perfect. I knew I would have sorrows,angst, and I would sometimes miss who I had been. Ryan would forever bean unfinished story. I knew that I would always wonder how things wouldhave ended up for him. Maybe, just maybe, there would be times I'd regretnot being him.But then there would always be the next orgasm.I jumped into my little apple-green Fiat and drove home. It was a. I'm too controlling, self-centered, and a workaholic. I've become too focused on money, which is funny because I was less concerned about it when I had almost none. I care too much what other people think, and that's changed my behavior."Lastly, I hate to say it, but we've all become pretty distant from each other. Abby, you lock yourself away with a bottle of wine everyday. We may be in the same house, but I don't see you for days. That sends me a message about how you see my behavior, but I. Crap, I wouldn't have believed me a couple of days ago. Jeff said he would explain when we got back to the retreat..." I said that I would explain a little when we get back home. I can't tell you everything; actually very little more than you already know, Caitlin. Your seeing her couldn't be helped. But only my wives, Dave and Evie have seen her. I used her on Jeb and Annie, plus another friend of mine that you haven't met, but they haven't seen her, and she isn't to be mentioned to them..
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