There is no time when you're dead. Only now, forever...Another flash of memory.My mother, weeping at the kitchen sink, was holding a sheaf of medical ...apers in her hand. She stared at the papers as if they were a palpable enemy that she could rend, tear, or kill. Her tears were hard and angry – but soft, and almost helpless. Hindsight cleared up so much, and I now know the anguish she felt as the sterile, white forms pronounced her death sentence.For millennia I lingered in the valley of death.. Co-workers. Casual acquaintances. Relatives. Strangers. Close friends I’ve known for a decade or more, but who have no idea that I’m a member in good standing of the National Association of Perverts and Pornographers. How do I talk to these people? I’m proud of what I do, and I like to think I’m halfway good at it. I like to share it, too, otherwise I’d just write it down and tear it up, the way I used to. It’s been a long time since I resigned myself to the fact that I can’t write to please. After breakfast I went to the mall and walked my three miles. I noticed on the ride from Helen's to the mall that it seemed a bit warmer. I could tell that it was getting close to the end of winter. It have been getting a little warmer almost every day.I really did miss Cheryl on my morning walk. One of the camera people followed me to the mall now and then, but they sat on one of the benches and filmed me coming and going. They also tried to catch me speaking to the other old folks. Cheryl had. She looked over at Dannye and proffered her a fake kiss though pursed lips. Dannye reciprocated the gesture. Karyn reached across the expanse of my chest and put her hand behind Dannye’s head. Dannye leaned across my chest and I watched as she slid her lips gracefully and easily on to Karyn’s lips. Karyn bit down on Dannye’s lower lip, gently pulling at it. Dannye reciprocated, offering Karyn her tongue. I had only seen two girls kissing, in an on-line porno, but to see and experience it first.
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