"Sure. Soon, maybe."> > > >Soon. Is that what I had said? That was a lie, because I was currently sitting in my truck in the parking lot of a park wai...ing for my new hookup to arrive. I was already growing impatient when my phone vibrated.Aiden: you're in the jeep?Me: yep. are you here already?Rather than receiving a text back, someone knocked on the window. Although I was taken by surprise, I tried not to show it. It was night out, but I stepped out of my car despite not ensuring that it was. I had always wondered why womenput up with that. Now I understand the immense force of social pressureand societal expectations. That was excruciating, because I had had noidea. I might have known my way around the superficialities and someparaphernalia. But there are just that. Superficial. There is so muchmore that goes with this gender than dressing up for fun. A whole set ofrequired, expected and desired behaviours, mannerisms, even moods. Howto talk, how to walk, how to stand, sit,. . Surprised, to say the least."Dude, what the fuck was that?!" He yelled."Turns out, we love each other!" I told him. He smiled, smacked me on the back and told me to feel free to use his room. He knew...I walked up the stairs and met Char at the top. She smiled at me."Still feeling tired?" I asked her. She yawned, as if on cue, and nodded. We walked over to the scene of my earlier triumph with Zach, as the cocaine was starting to wear off now. I picked her up and lay her down on the bed, as I. And later, in the deepest part of the night, when the spanking was long over and everyone else was asleep, I would turn over on my tummy, put my hands down there, and I would think more thoughts about my mythical older brother - decadent thoughts - thoughts about the meaning of the "anything" that I would do for him.In those early morning hours, when my eyes were closed and my hands were beneath me, I knew what "anything" meant. For those times, in the privacy of my mind and body, he became.
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