Estelle was most vocal in her objections when I opened her casket. Amanda had simply given me a look of sullen acceptance at her confinement."Please, ...adies, if you would be so good as to place the cuffs around your wrists and to snap the links together so that your wrists are joined."Although the two of them had become used to various forms of restraint over the previous week, I could see that they regarded this instruction with suspicion. They complied, however, and gave no resistance when I. I love my life. I love being on the boat. I love being with you. My mom loves you, obviously, and she's pretty happy. I don't think you're moaning and groaning about how life has treated you. Okay, so when I'm eighteen, if I can go to college I will, and if I can't, for whatever reason, then I won't. The point is that I'm more interested in loving my life than making it into what a bunch of other people think it should look like."She sat there, waiting for him to say something. He was more than. Boy was I glad not to be a part of that. Round 2 was now going to begin. Round 2 was a bit more involving. All 10 of us were brought out at the same time. The guard told us all to get on our knees and open our mouths. Another guard named Joe Henson, or Big Joe, walked on the stage. I was now 7th in line since the 5 other gurls had been knocked out. Big Joe walked down the stage getting a look at each of us. Once he was finished he resumed back to the 1st gurl and told her to unbutton his pants. I can't tell my realname, she thought.But she did, "John Smith." A short pause.. and the voice on the linesaid, "okay." What had she done? She couldn't go through with thisnow..could she? She was a he.. and he was me. I couldn't do this could I? He knows who I am.I smoothed my dress and sat back down on the bed wandering into aforeign territory I would never be able to come back from. I foundmyself fixing my hairto look good for him.. why, I thought. I could hear the elevator.. Icould.
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